Jokes about turtles

Discussions about turtles.
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NCCowgirl11
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Hey guys. I doint know if I\'ve ever gave anynoe on this site my name so here it is Tanya. I would love to talk to anyone about anything about turtles or other thing. Here are some jokes for you to enjoy...


Turtles and Picnics and a Minor Tragedy

Three turtles, Joe, Steve, and Poncho, decide to go on a picnic. Joe packs the picnic basket with cookies, bottled sodas, and sandwiches. The trouble is, the picnic site is 10 miles away, so the turtles take 10 whole days to get there.
By the time they do arrive, everyone\'s whipped and hungry. Joe takes the stuff out of the basket, one by one. He takes out the sodas and realizes that they forgot to bring a bottle opener. Joe & Steve beg Poncho to turn back home and retrieve it, but Poncho flatly refuses, knowing that they\'ll eat everything by the time he gets back.

Somehow, after about two hours, the turtles manage to convince Poncho to go, swearing on their great-grand turtles\' graves that they won\'t touch the food. So, Poncho sets off down the road, slow and steady.

Twenty days pass, but no Poncho. Joe and Steve are hungry and puzzled, but a promise is a promise. Another day passes, and still no Poncho, but a promise is a promise. After three more days pass without Poncho in sight, Steve starts getting restless. \"I NEED FOOD!\" he says with a hint of dementia in his voice.

\"NO!\" Joe retorts. \"We promised.\"

Five more days pass. Joe realizes that Poncho probably skipped out to the Burger King down the road, so the two turtles weakly lift the lid, get a sandwich, and open their mouths to eat. But then, right at that instant, Poncho pops out behind a rock.

\"Just for that, I\'m not going.\"
reptileman
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I keep my secret identity. that was a funny joke but I retired from posting my jokes on this site.
NCCowgirl11
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I just wanted to know why have you stoped posting your jokes on this message board? Oh and how many turtles you ahve and what kind are they? Tanya
shai631
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Cowgirl,

that joke was SO funny! I emailed it out to my friends. I had not read a funny turtle joke yet (reptileman, I haven\'t posted on this site for over a year, so I didn\'t get to read yours).

Thanks!

Shai :D
Trailrider
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About reptileman and his jokes it\'s a lllooooooonnnnnggggg story. lol :)

It was a really funny joke! My family loved it!!
slidersroc
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shai631

welcome back.
shai631
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Thanks Tim!
Trailrider
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Here\'s some jokes, they\'re not about turts, but they\'re funny!

The Three Strings

Once there were three strings. The first one went into a bar and asked for a drink. The tender says, \"We doesn\'t serve no strings.\" The second string receives the same comment. Then the third string ties himself into a bow and ruffles up his hair. He walks into the bar and says to the bar tender, \"Gimme a drink.\" The bar tender studies him and askes, \"Ain\'t you a string?\" The string answers,\"I\'m *a frayed knot*\"

lol Was that funny? I thought it was. Here\'s another.

A Blonde Joke (I\'m blonde lol)

Three blonde girls had locked themselves out of their car. They tried all they could think of but they could not get the door open. Then the sky darkened with clouds and one shouts,\"Hurry, it\'s starting to rain and the tops down!\"

LOL!
reptileman
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daaaaaag!!!!! those are some stupid blondes!!! trailrider didn\'t like one of the jokes I put on here so we started to fight which brought a lot of excitement (cause I\'ve never seen anyone on here argue) and we just fought she called me a waste of time so I made some very harsh comments about her (which you can no longer see because deesygirl edited the harsh comments)and eventually we made up
Trailrider
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Ya, and I\'m very glad!
Trailrider
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reptileman wrote:
daaaaaag!!!!! those are some stupid blondes!!! trailrider didn\'t like one of the jokes I put on here so we started to fight which brought a lot of excitement (cause I\'ve never seen anyone on here argue) and we just fought she called me a waste of time so I made some very harsh comments about her (which you can no longer see because deesygirl edited the harsh comments)and eventually we made up
To make a long story short...............lol
rodeo144
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You two wouldv still been fighting if it wasnt for me......i always have to be hte peacemaker.
Trailrider
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Sure...............lol :)
reptileman
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*raises eyebrow* well, you did help, I\'ll give you that.
Trailrider
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I guess............
shai631
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Aww, I wasn\'t here when all that stuff was going down, but I\'m glad it seems over with. :D

I liked the Blonde Joke, the three strings one was a little TOO corny for me...lol, but I like reading new jokes nonetheless, so thanks for posting!

Shai :D
Trailrider
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Here are a few more, I got them from a ten year old that does jokes and magic tricks (he made this up himself).

A woman marries and divorses 4 guys. One was a millionar, one was a rockstar, one was a pastor, and the last was an undertaker. One day somebody asks her why she married guys with such different jobs. She answers, \"1. for the money, 2. for the show, 3. to get ready, and 4. to go!\"
LOL :)

(I think he got this from somewhere else)
why don\'t scelitens go to balls? Because they don\'t have any BODY to go with!

lol

Corny, but hey, we\'re here for the laugh!
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