Ha Ha Ha!!! Here are some jokes for everyone!

You can chat about non-pet topics here! Be courteous to others and keep it clean!
Kimmy
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Here are the jokes (they\'re corny, but hey, who\'s counting?):

Hippie:what holds up your leggie

Cheerios:Donut seeds

Circle:A line that meets it\'s other end \'in secret\'

Chashew:The way nuts sneeze

Atom:Eve\'s husband

Autobiography:A book about a car

Commentater:An everyday potato

Horse doctor:A doctor with a sore throat

Pineapple:The fruit of a pine tree

Jenny: My uncle just bought a farm that is a mile long and an inch wide.
Winston:What did he think he could grow in that?
Jenny:Spaghetti, I guess.

A Christian man was sitting on his roof during a flood. A kind man in a row boat paddled up to him an called, \"Hey! Do you want a ride to safety?\" \"Oh no\", the man on his roof replied,\"I asked God to help me, I\'ll be fine.\" So the man in the row boat went away. The water by now had risen the the eves of the house. Soon, a rescue helicopter hovered above the house. \"Hey! Do you want a ride out of here? I can take you to safety!\" But the man on his roof replied,\"Oh,no. I\'ll be fine. I prayed to God for help, he will save me.\" So the rescue helicopter flew away. Finally, a woman in her motor boat came up to the man. By now, the water was wetting the man on his roof\'s shoes. \"Hey! You need to get out of here. Come on, get in my boat and I will take you to safety!\" The woman called. \"No no, I\'m fine!\" the man called,\"I prayed to God, and he will save me.\" So the woman and her boat left. The water went on rising, and soon the man was drowned. When he was in heaven he went to God and asked,\"God, after I was so faithful to you, why didn\'t you save me?\" He answered,\"I sent you a rowboat, a helicopter, AND a motor boat, what else could I do?!\"

Three construction workers sat down on a skyscraper they were helping to build for lunch. One was Mexican, one Italian, and the other American. The Mexican man opened up his lunch and said,\"Burrito!!! If I ever get a burrito in my lunch again I will jump off this building!\" The Italian man said,\"Spaghetti!!! If I ever get spaghetti in my lunch again I will jump off this building!\" The American man said,\"Peanut butter and jelly!!! If I ever get PB&J again I will jump off this building!\" The next afternoon the men sat down again for lunch. The Mexican man opened his lunch,\"Burrito!!! Ahhhhhhhhhh\" SPLAT! The Italian man opened his lunch,\"Spaghetti!!! Ahhhhhhhhhh!\" SPLAT! The American opened his lunch,\"PB&J!!! Ahhhhhhhhhh!\" SPLAT! At the funnerel the Mexican\'s wife and the Italian\'s wife cried,\"If only we knew they didn\'t want Burritos and Spaghetti!\" Then they looked at the American\'s wife. \"Well, don\'t look at me, he made his own lunch.\"

Well, that is all for now. Don\'t be shy to add your own jokes!

-Kim
reptileman
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these jokes are racist but they\'re hilarious! here we go:
what do you call a bunch of water running down a slide?- a mudslide
what do you call a bunch of vegetables sliding down a mountain?-an avalanche
this is the funny part
what do you call a bunch of blacks running down a mountain?-a jailbreak!

here\'s another:

4 men are on a plane. 1 mexican 1 chinese 1 white 1 black. The mexican jumped off the plane and said \"this is for my people\". The chinese man jumped off the plane and you could barely understand him when he said \"this is for my people\" Then the black guy grabbed the white guy, threw him off the plane and said \"that was for my people!\"
Kimmy
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Those are really funny, Reptileman!!!

P.S. The place where there is a smiley face by the Cherrios thing was supposed to say, \'Donut Seeds\'. :D

-Kim
reptileman
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Its a talent. xVBBB Girlx has poems, slidersroc has pics, I have jokes! And a lot of them too! I\'m glad you liked my jokes.
Kimmy
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If you have a lot more jokes then post them! I love a good laugh (or a dumb one!)!

-Kim
reptileman
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some of my jokes are quite dirty but are the funniest ones I have. How old are you?
Kimmy
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:D My age is my buisness, Thank you Very Much!
Kimmy
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No way!!! I\'d like to kept my dignety, thank you!

-Kim
Kimmy
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Hey reptileman, have you checked out my new post, \'Cool stuff your pets have done\'? It\'s cool!

-Kim
reptileman
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I\'ll take a look but I\'d like to know your age. I won\'t post any more of my jokes if you don\'t tell me!
Kimmy
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For your imformation, I am the most stuborn person that I know, so don\'t try to tell me what to do!!

-Kim
Kimmy
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Do you have to write,\' Its a turtle, and aligator, what ever, every single time you post something?!

-Kim
Kimmy
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I\'ll make a deal with you. If you tell me your age I won\'t tell you mine.

-Kim
Kimmy
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-Kim
Last edited by Kimmy on Wed Aug 25, 2004 11:55 am, edited 1 time in total.
reptileman
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I don\'t type that, its my signature. It appears on the bottom of all my posts.
Kimmy
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Reptileman, how do you make a signature?
Kimmy
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You said,\'Deal\' right? So, how old are you?

-Kim
reptileman
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go to your profile, scroll down to where it says signature and type what you want to see in all of your posts. look, I changed mine. my age? 15
Kimmy
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I am sorry, my young 15 year old, but you must have read the message wrong. It say,\' I\'ll make a deal with you, if you tell me your age I WON\'T tell you mine.\'

-Kim
Trailrider
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I just want you to know reptileman that i reregistered myself as Trailrider and I now have my very own signature!

-Kim
reptileman
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I must have. well, no need for me to ask anymore I know now!;)
Trailrider
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Why do you know?

-Kim
reptileman
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mwa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha haaaaaa!
I\'m such a devil! I read what you typed on how old are you I\'m sorry if this is insulting! you typed (I hope reptileman doesn\'t read this) and that lit a flame in my eyes!
reptileman
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yep I\'m holding the torch now!
Trailrider
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lol, oh, you really scare me!!!
Trailrider
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Okay, lets chat about something more interresting now. This is REALLY boring!

-Kim
reptileman
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ok here\'s another joke:
there\'s this little girl, she\'s in sunday school and she\'s asleep the teacher asks her, \"whose our lord and savior?\" she didn\'t wake up so, johnny, a little boy sitting behind her took a pin and poked her in the butt, and she said \"god almighty!!!!!!\" the teacher said \"very good\" and the little girl went back to sleep. later, the teacher asked the little girl, \"who created the heavens and the universe?\" she didn\'t wake up, so again johnny poked her in the butt. she jumped up and shouted \"jesus christ!!!\" the teacher said \"very good!\" and the little girl went back to sleep. then the teacher asked the little girl \"what did eve say to adam after their 23rd child?\" johny poked her and once again she jumped up and this time she said \"you stick that thing in me one more time and I\'ll break it in half!!\" the teacher fainted.
Trailrider
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lol, not. I don\'t like your taste.

-Kim
reptileman
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That\'s not one of mine I got that joke from http://funnyjunk.com I thought it was funny so I repeated it on here.
baby_turtle76
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That was funny reptileman!! Keep em coming.
Trailrider
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I don\'t know what\'s wrong with you people. Remeber, I am only 13, so watch those jokes you put down. I\'m not laughing from that last joke. Not very funny. Not at all. :(

-Kim
reptileman
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kid! well, I\'m glad you liked it baby_turtle but I can\'t put my funniest jokes on here because they\'re quite dirty! and there are kids on here.( like trailrider) lol
Trailrider
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Well, now I know what kind of person you are going to be. I am not going to be writing on this anymore is this goes on like it is. If you enjoy making fun, fine. Who needs you?
I sure don\'t. Well, farewell, reptileman. I\'m not laughing. Don\'t think I am. You have succeded in destroying the fun I MIGHT have had listening to really funny clean jokes. If your favorite jokes are hurtful or dumb, I\'m sorry for you. But, that\'s your choice. Goodbye.

-Kim :l
reptileman
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you have no idea what kind of person I\'ll be! making fun of people is part of jokes just about someone! instead of something! this is not a joke: you\'re just plain weird!!!!
Last edited by reptileman on Sat Sep 18, 2004 7:51 am, edited 1 time in total.
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